what I read in July 2020

American Sherlock: Murder, Forensics, and the Birth of American CSI by Kate Winkler Dawson
The interesting story of Edward Heinrich, pioneer of forensic science. Fascinating case histories, but it felt a little disjointed. Also: please don’t tease with a case in the first chapter and not get back to it until the last. I hate that.

The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump by Mary Jordan
If you ever pitied Melania for being trapped in a loveless marriage with a lying buffoon, don’t. They deserve each other.

Bring Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel

Perfection.

Cosy: The British Art of Comfort by Laura Weir
I wouldn’t say drinking tea, wearing warm socks and hunkering down indoors are activities exclusive to the British, but what do I know?

The Durrells of Corfu by Michael Haag
A bit sloppily written, but I liked learning about the lives of the real Durrells. The show, unsurprisingly, glosses over a lot.

Exciting Times by Naoise Dolan
Started off strong, but it faded a bit for me. It was okay.

Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
(Audiobook, read beautifully by Phyllida Law)
What could I possibly say that hasn’t already been said a million times over? Staggeringly good.

The Other Side of the Coin by Angela Kelly
The behind-the-scenes details about the Queen’s wardrobe and what it’s like to work for her were great; the parts about Kelly herself were less so. The inclusion of letters from her young grandchildren about how wonderful and inspiring she is seemed odd and all the terrible low-res photos (many of which made her eyes appear to be all iris, no white, and super creepy) are not an asset.

The Room Where It Happened by John Bolton
(Audiobook, read by Robert Petkoff)
A hate-listen, simple as that. Hours and hours of this pompous blowhard going on and on about how he is always, ALWAYS, right about everything and everyone else is (almost) always wrong. Also includes: every compliment he has ever received.

Skogluft by Jørn Viurndal
The first two hundred pages explain why nature is good. The last few pages explain how to grow a bunch of pothos plants on your wall. A thousand-word magazine article would have more than sufficed.

A Visit from the Good Squad by Jennifer Egan
(Audiobook, read by Roxana Ortega)
“Spellbinding interlocking narratives,” the blurb says. I found most of it reasonably enjoyable, but not exactly spellbinding. The chapter in which an autistic child provides the statistics on pauses in a wide variety of songs was unlistenable, though.

no trees should have to die for this

Thanks to one of the three million publishing-related newsletters I receive daily, it has come to my attention that there is such a thing as an infused water cookbook. Subsequent research has proven there are, in fact, several ‘cookbooks’ for infused water. This raises questions for me, including:

  1. How long might it take to write a book about infused water? Half an hour? An hour?
  2. How many copies might a publisher of a book about infused water expect to sell? Will that number depress me?
  3. How inexperienced must one be to require instructions on how to add pieces of fruit, herbs and/or veg to a glass of water? Is this not a task the average toddler could accomplish handily?
  4. How insulting would it be to receive one of these tomes as a gift?
  5. How do I get a contract to write a book on eating chocolate?

a quick rant

This morning, someone I like a lot in real life shared this on Facebook:

This person shares a lot of punny jokes and cute memes and, other than a bit of police worship I don’t agree with, would never purposely insult or hurt anyone. But this one, this stupid meme, has bugged me all day. I started to leave a comment on the post, then changed my mind and deleted it because (1) I don’t want to hurt this person by embarrassing them in front of their FB friends and (2) I’m not in the mood for a bunch of dudes to tell me I need to lighten up.

But because this is my space and I can say what I want and no dudes would be caught dead here, this is what I want to say:

-Criticising younger generations for not being as ‘good’ as us olds is lazy comedy.

-I don’t know the story behind these photos (and I’ll bet the person who made the meme doesn’t either), but chances are they were taken at a protest of some sort, where the point is to, you know, protest. Maybe they were protesting a Black paramedic being shot to death in her own home with zero consequences for her police officer killers. Maybe they were protesting children being snatched away from their parents at the Mexico/US border or protesting the fact that a racist, sexist reality show creep is authorising secret forces to beat up, tear gas and abduct people on American streets. But suggesting that these women are spoiled brats, screaming their heads off all the time about nothing is ridiculous.

-Speaking of women, have another look at the photos. Funny how it isn’t men being called out for this supposed bad behaviour. But women, no, women need to shut up, sit down and do what they’re told, right? How dare they open their mouths? How dare they have opinions?

-If I created a meme featuring a group of older, rich, ‘respectable’ white men totally losing it (and this would be so easy to do) with a snarky comment about how these raging grandpa-babies need a diaper change, would you share that, too? Or would that be (gasp) rude? Continually crapping all over young people for not showing enough respect seems like a poor strategy for ever gaining it, wouldn’t you say?

what I read in June 2020

–American Housewife: Stories by Helen Ellis
Short stories (some very short) about women who have adapted (or are seeing the need to adapt) to meet the demands of being perfect wives and mothers. Wry and creative and funny and a bit vicious, at times. I liked it a lot.
–The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison (Audio)
Still gut-wrenching, decades later. Narrated by the author and I’d like to listen to her narrate everything.
–Collected: City + Country by Sarah Richardson
The first of a series, apparently. I don’t know what the print version is like, but the ebook felt more like a magazine. Lots of pretty interiors for pristine people.
–Do You Mind If I Cancel? (Things That Still Annoy Me) by Gary Janetti
I thought this would be a book of humourous essays, but it’s a boring, disjointed and repetitive autobiography by a man who is known (I have since learned) for being very funny. This came as a surprise.
–Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse by John Lithgow
Clever and a lot of fun to write, I bet.
–Fantastic Mr Fox and Other Animal Stories by Roald Dahl (Audio)
Loved it. Great narration by Chris O’Dowd, Geoffrey Palmer, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.
–Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life by Nir Eyal
Tips for maintaining focus, but nothing I hadn’t heard before or learned on my own.
–Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown by Anne Glenconner (Audio)
Now this is an autobiography. What a fascinating life, well-told.
–Lake Success: A Novel by Gary Shteyngart (Audio)
I wasn’t sure whether to persist with this one; heaven knows there are enough novels out there following the escapades of rich, powerful, white male protagonists. I did enjoy watching the failures mount up for Barry Cohen, the clueless main character, but he still got off way too easily for his various misdemeanors. Frustratingly true to life.
–Live Beautiful by Athena Calderone
Decor inspiration for rich people who live in homes that look like movie sets.
–Meatless by Martha Stewart
Nicely done, Martha.
–Quick and Easy Vegan Comfort Food by Alicia C Simpson
Lots of good ideas to try.
–Vegan on the Go by Jerome Eckmeier
Hmmm, I seem to have been feeling very vegan this month. This is another good one.
–A Very Stable Genius: Donald J. Trump’s Testing of America by Carol D. Leonnig and Philip Rucker (Audio)
Never could I have imagined I’d be interested in reading/listening to so many books about a politician, but I guess that’s what happens when a clown is put in charge.
–The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West
I wish I could express myself half as well as Lindy West. Great essays.

what I read in May 2020

–All My Friends Are Superheroes by Andrew Kaufman
I read this on a recommendation from a friend and it was a good recommendation. It’s unusual and funny and I was still thinking about it a week later, which is really rare for me.
–Bibliostyle: How We Live at Home with Books by Nina Freudenberger
See? I’m not the only one with A LOT of books.
–Edible DIY: Simple, Giftable Recipes to Savor and Share by Lucy Baker
Some nice, easy ideas.
–Everything Chocolate by America’s Test Kitchen
I want to make every single thing in this book.
–Grow Food For Free by Huw Richards (Audiobook)
Worth listening to just for his Welsh accent, but lots of good advice for gardening on a budget.
–Lean Out by Tara Henley
A strange book. After working herself into the ground for a couple decades, the author takes three years off to discover she needs to rest more, get fresh air and eat properly. She refuses to do any internal work on her difficulties with life (she dismisses meditation as a “life hack”) and focuses only on her conviction that all modern problems stem from a lack of community. For some reason, all of this is interspersed with long passages about all the travelling she’s done. I’m glad she feels better, but I didn’t relate.
–Planting the Natural Garden by Henk Gerritsen and Piet Oudolf
A really good resource I’d like to own.
–Shetland by Ann Cleeves
Beautiful photography.
–Simple Farmhouse Life by Lisa Bass
I’m always skeptical when I flip through books of perfect homes decorated by perfect women with fifteen perfect children, but who knows? Maybe she only needs an hour of sleep a day.
–Talking to Strangers by Marianne Boucher
My first graphic novel, I think. The author visits California as a teenager and is swept up into the Moonies cult. I identified more with her parents, of course, who must have been terrified.
–Untamed by Glennon Doyle (Audiobook)
I almost gave up on this one several times because I found her introspection and need to talk about how much she loves her wife kind of tedious, but it picked up a bit when she got into what women can do for ourselves and each other and society at large.
–Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun
A book for and about the women of Generation X. Like me. Excellent.

what I read in April 2020

–50 Knitted Wraps and Shawls by Marisa Nöldeke
Is it possible to have too many wraps and shawls? No. No, it isn’t.
–The Blue Zones Kitchen by Dan Buettner
What a relief to read a cookbook that isn’t all photos of the author looking glamorous in an expensive kitchen.
–The Crafty Gardener by Becca Anderson
A weird hodgepodge of gardening information, personal reflections and pretty photographs. The ebook formatting was bad so it might be less weird in paper form.
–The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (Audiobook)
Finally got to this one a mere 17 years after everybody else. It was very good.
–Effin Birds by Aaron Reynolds
Pairing Audubon illustrations with curse words is genius and I’ll never forgive myself for not thinking of it first.
–Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo (Audiobook)
All I really remember about it is that the author is very successful at everything she tries.
–Hello Color: 25 Bright Ideas for DIY Decor by Rachel Mae Smith
Not my taste, let’s leave it at that.
–How to Be Fine: What We Learned from Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books by Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer
Disappointingly low on details about the self-help books they studied or, contrary to what the title suggests, what they learned from those books.
–How to Eat by Mark Bittman and David L Katz (Audiobook)
The answer: a plant-based diet. Which we’re already doing. So that’s good.
–Longbourn by Jo Baker (Audiobook)
A really interesting concept: Pride and Prejudice from the viewpoint of the Bennet household’s servants. A smidge too long, in my opinion, but I liked it. Emma Fielding was a great narrator.
–Making Space, Clutter Free by Tracy McCubbin
Why did I read this? I don’t know. It’s fine as far as de-cluttering books go, but I like having lots of resources to draw upon (i.e. clutter).
–Martha Stewart’s Cookie Perfection by the editors of Martha Stewart Living
God, I love cookies so much.
–The New Family Cookbook by America’s Test Kitchen
Always good recipes, even if the ATK people do tend to get a bit fussy.
–Open Kitchen by Susan Spungen
Seemed fine, just not the kinds of things I cook.
–The Self-Care Solution by Jennifer Ashton MD
Boy, do I have a lot I could say about this one. Every month for one year, this doctor (as she reminds the reader nine million times) who appears regularly on Good Morning America (another nine million times) challenges herself to a healthy habit even though she does not need to because she is incredibly fit, thin, strong, healthy, disciplined, rich, gorgeous and perfect in every way. Absolutely nauseating and her single-minded obsession with body weight and having a flat belly is disturbing.
–That’s Not English: Britishisms, Americanisms and What Our English Says About Us by Erin Moore
An American ex-pat living in London points out small cultural and language differences. It was fine.
–Upcycling Celebrations by Danny Seo
Take random pieces of garbage and hot glue gun them together to make garbage decorations that 100% look like glued-together garbage.
–Weather by Jenny Offill (Audiobook)
Short, linked vignettes in lieu of a plot. I liked it.
–Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby (Audiobook)
I enjoy everything Samantha Irby writes and this did not disappoint. Most enjoyable read of the month, by far.