no trees should have to die for this

Thanks to one of the three million publishing-related newsletters I receive daily, it has come to my attention that there is such a thing as an infused water cookbook. Subsequent research has proven there are, in fact, several ‘cookbooks’ for infused water. This raises questions for me, including:

  1. How long might it take to write a book about infused water? Half an hour? An hour?
  2. How many copies might a publisher of a book about infused water expect to sell? Will that number depress me?
  3. How inexperienced must one be to require instructions on how to add pieces of fruit, herbs and/or veg to a glass of water? Is this not a task the average toddler could accomplish handily?
  4. How insulting would it be to receive one of these tomes as a gift?
  5. How do I get a contract to write a book on eating chocolate?